


I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it

by aewriting



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Body Image, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of abusive childhood, Military, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Physical Disability, Sex Tapes, Shameless Smut, Super brief mention of a past threesome cough cough like blink and you miss it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:14:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25429732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aewriting/pseuds/aewriting
Summary: Michael and Alex decide to make a sex tape.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 57
Kudos: 212





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [prouvaireafterdark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouvaireafterdark/gifts).



> This was inspired by the great prouvaireafterdark's extensive catalog of top-tier Malex smut. Me being me, there's some angst mixed in, too, but mostly this is just smutty, smutty, building-up-to-making-a-sex-tape smut. Please mind the warnings - this is the most explicit fic I've ever written.

“Fuck,” Alex groans, holding onto Michael’s legs for leverage. “Fucking hell, Michael...”

“Yeah,” Michael urges him. “Come on, Alex, come on.”

Alex’s grip tightens. He licks his lips, looks down. “Oh my god,” he murmurs. “You,” he manages to get out, thrusting. “You look so good right now.”

“Yeah?” Michael asks, catching Alex’s eye, holding his gaze. “Well I feel so good. Taking your dick.”

Alex grins. “Yeah? You like my dick?”

“You know I do,” he says, drawing out the words and punctuating them with a filthy smile.

“God,” Alex gasps, looking down at him. “Wish you could see yourself right now.”

Michael smirks. “Well,” he says, and without warning, Alex catches something in his periphery. Floating. “We can make that happen.”

The item is getting closer, and Alex hesitates just a moment. Turns his head a bit and sees that it’s Michael’s phone. He narrows his eyes at it, confused, then -

“Shit!” he cries out, fingers reflexively gripping Michael’s legs even tighter. “You, you’re not recording this, are you?”

The phone drops to the mattress, face down. Michael swallows. “Um, I guess not?”

Alex sighs. “You didn’t already, did you?”

Michael’s lip juts out, and he frowns. “No. I wouldn’t just, like, start rolling without letting you know,” he says, a little testily.

Alex relaxes minutely. “Good.” He glances down at where they’re joined. Exhales in an attempt to center himself, get back into the moment. But... “You have an iPhone, right?”

Michael lets his head fall back against the pillow. “Oh my god.” He shakes his head a little. “Yes, it’s an iPhone. You know that.” He must see something on Alex’s face, though, because he suddenly drops the attitude, maybe looks a little concerned. “It, it’s fine if you don’t want to, like, make a porno.” Michael’s flat on his back still, legs up and open, looking so earnest.

And it’s the contrast that does something to Alex - those big, wide eyes paired with the absolutely explicit scene down lower. He briefly closes his eyes, then makes himself look Michael right in the eyes. “It’s not that,” he says, trying to explain. And, because he’s only human, he lets his gaze flick down to Michael’s lips, his flushed chest. To the way he’s stretched wide around Alex.

Alex swallows, refocuses. “Not just that. It’s mostly just, like, the security of it. Like, if you hit record and you’re connected to wireless or LTE or something, and that uploads to your device, or the cloud? Or both?” Alex shakes his head. “It’s just... it’s so insecure.”

Michael’s just staring at him. It’s a beat or two before he clears his throat. “Uh, okay. Sounds, sounds like that would bother you.”

Alex frowns. “Would it not bother you? Some X-rated video of us just, like, sitting on your phone?”

Michael just shrugs. “Not really.”

Alex sighs. “That’s where we’re different, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Michael says tightly. “Um, Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you want to do here? Cause I’m gonna need you to either start moving or just, like, call it, because - “

“Shit,” Alex mutters. “Right. I’m sorry.” He rubs Michael’s leg.

The touch seems to release some of Michael’s tension. “It’s okay.” He takes a deep breath, and Alex can feel the way his body begins relaxing again around him. “You still want to...?”

Alex steals another look at them, at the way their bodies are slotted together, and gives a shaky little laugh. “Yeah, Michael. Yeah.”

***

“So,” Michael says, shifting in the bed next to Alex and propping himself up on his elbow. “About earlier.”

Alex sighs, stares at the ceiling. Michael... doesn’t let him drop things. Doesn’t let him avoid, even when he really wants to. It’s probably good for him, he knows, but it can also be damn annoying. “What about it?”

“There was some weirdness, is all.” Michael pauses, then, seems to consider his next words. “And you’re about to be gone for a few nights. We okay?”

Alex hears the vulnerability there, the uncertainty. Rolls over to face Michael directly. “Oh, Michael,” he sighs, skimming a hand down Michael’s arm. “Yeah. We’re okay. Sorry I froze up earlier. It’s just... the idea of someone, the wrong person getting footage of us? Together?” He shakes his head. “I’d hate that.”

Michael looks thoughtful. “So it really is, like, the security piece of it, for you.”

Alex nods. “Yeah, definitely.” Looking at Michael, thinking back over their earlier interaction, it gives Alex a pang of guilt. “Shit, Michael, I’m sorry - didn’t mean to be, like, judgmental about it.”

“Well, you were. Judgmental. Just, just not for the reasons I thought. And, um, I’m sorry, too. For kind of springing it on you in the middle of everything.”

“It’s okay. Like, I trust you, but I don’t trust a lot of other people, you know? Like if a video or photo or whatever got into the wrong hands. Or even just, like, anyone else’s hands other than ours.”

Michael looks at him knowingly. “Isobel’s.”

“Shut up,” Alex laughs. “You know how Isobel hates hearing about your sex life.”

“And yet she’s the kinkiest of all of us, you know?”

“Yeah, her boundaries are... inconsistent at best,” Alex says diplomatically.

Michael scoffs. “Better with you than with most of us, honestly.”

Alex shrugs. “I mean, I’ve had years of training on how to be - “

“Commanding?” Michael supplies, smirking. Alex raises an eyebrow. “Assertive?”

“Michael...”

“I kinda like it when you order me around, Captain. Direct me.” Michael gives him an easy smile. “And speaking of directing...”

“That’s quite the segue.”

“Thanks. I can bring anything back to sex, you know,” Michael says matter-of-factly. “It’s a talent.”

And even though nothing’s going to happen now - it’s too late, and he’s too tired - Alex knows that Michael likes this, the back and forth, the banter, and he decides to play along.

“You _are_ very talented.”

Alex smiles at the way Michael brightens with the praise. “So...” Michael starts, drawing out the word. “If we could make it secure, would you ever be interested in, like, making our own video? Just for us?”

Alex pauses a little, and Michael brings his hands in front of his chest in faux surrender. “Like, no pressure. I’m just curious.” He smiles a little. “Always curious about you. What you like. What you don’t.”

Alex nods. Looks at Michael. “Like, if it was just us? And just for us? I mean, sure, I’d do it. It sounds... it sounds pretty hot, honestly. Like, the idea of it. The idea, um, of me, like, filming you. You getting to see how... how fucking hot you are when we’re together like that.”

Michael inclines his head toward Alex, meets his gaze. “You’re pretty fucking hot yourself.”

Alex frowns. “I...” He swallows. “I believe you. Like, I believe you think that. You, you tell me you think that, and you show me you feel that way about me...” He sighs. “And, like, five years ago? Before I got blown up? Sure, I believed it, too.”

Michael looks stricken. “Alex...”

“Michael. I’m just being honest here. Like, if you wanted to make a video, and we could make it so no one else could get to it, I’d do it. I’d give it a try.”

Michael looks a little grim, at this point. “Don’t want you to just, like, grit your teeth and do it just because you think I want you to.”

“It’s not that,” Alex says emphatically, edge of annoyance to his voice. “If I didn’t want to do something, you’d know it.”

Michael scoffs a little. “That’s true. _Captain_.”

“That’s right,” Alex says with a smirk. He stops. Considers his next question. “You caught me off guard, though. Earlier. When you just brought the phone over like it was nothing. Have you ever... um. Have you ever done something like that before?”

Michael looks at him a long moment. Raises an eyebrow. “Do you really want to know the answer to that?”

Alex exhales. Really thinks about it. “Just a yes or no.”

“Yes.”

***

“I don’t like it when you go out of town,” Michael’s saying. “Just... just reminds me of old shit, you know?”

“It’s just a training. Computer stuff.”

Michael sighs. “I’ll be really glad when your contract’s up.”

“Not too much longer now,” Alex says briskly, packing the last of his toiletries into his duffel. “I’ll call you tonight from the hotel.”

Michael considers him. “The Air Force giving you your own room this time?”

Alex pauses. “Yeah. Why?”

Michael raises an eyebrow. “How would you feel about getting a... private phone call?”

Alex feels a little spark of heat, low in his belly. “I think I’ll make sure I’m back in my room by 9.”

***

“Fuck, Alex, wish I was there with you.”

“Mmm, I wish that too.”

“I’d love to get your dick in my mouth. Right there in your hotel room on the fuckin’ Air Force’s dime.”

Alex groans a little, works himself faster, really imagining it.

“You’d like that, right? Watching me suck you off?”

“Fuck yeah, I’d like that.”

“Imagine it’s me, there with you.”

“I’m getting close.”

“Mmm, good. Me too. Imagine I’m there, seriously. On my knees for you.”

“God damn...”

“Yeah. Want you so bad right now. Where would you come, if I was there?”

“Fuck, Michael.”

“My mouth? My face?” Michael pauses. “I’d let you film it, you know. Like we talked about yesterday.”

And that does it. The idea of, of Michael, so willing, letting Alex get him on tape... “I’m, I’m coming,” Alex grits out.

He can practically hear Michael’s grin over the phone. “Yeah you are. Come on. Come for me. I’m right there with you, Alex, right there with you...”

***

He’s excited to get home. It’s still kind of a thrill, unlocking the door to their home and seeing Michael there, waiting for him. And he thinks today will be extra rewarding.

Michael’s already scrambling to his feet, crossing the room to meet Alex. “Hey!” He says as he embraces Alex warmly. Kisses him. “I’m glad you’re home. Missed you.”

Alex pulls back. Smiles. “I missed you, too.”

“You hungry?” Michael asks quickly. “I bought some stuff for grilling.”

“I’m okay for now, but that sounds great for later.” Alex glances down at his duffel bag, then up at Michael. “Look, let me get cleaned up, get my leg off, then I, um, I picked something up for you. That I want to show you.”

Michael brightens. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Well that’s quite the coincidence, Captain, because I have something for you, too.”

Alex purses his lips, trying to keep a straight face. “It’s your dick, isn’t it?”

Michael raises an eyebrow. “Guess I have two somethings for you, then.”

Now it’s Alex’s turn to look surprised. “Well then, let me get that shower. Sooner I’m out - “

“The sooner you’re in,” Michael says suggestively.

“Oh my god,” Alex groans, bringing a hand to his face. “That was _so_ bad.”

Michael draws closer, mouth almost touching Alex’s ear. “But you’re thinking about it now, aren’t you?”

Alex huffs out a little breath. “I’ve been thinking about it since before I even left our driveway three days ago.”

Michael grins. “Good.” With a playful slap to the ass, he sends Alex on his way. “Go get clean, and don’t bother getting dressed after.”

***

“Hey. You’re a little overdressed, still.”

Alex fixes Michael with a look. “It’s a towel, not a tux.”

He sees a glint in Michael’s eye. “You... you ever actually worn a tux?”

Alex thinks a moment. Smirks. “Yeah, once. You were there.”

Michael looks momentarily confused, then his eyes widen. “Prom?”

Alex nods. “Yeah.”

The side of Michael’s mouth quirks up in a little half-smile. “As I recall, you looked damn good that night.”

“Before or after I got punched in the face?”

Michael’s mouth twists a bit. “Before. During. After. You gave better than you got, as I recall.” He looks down. “If... if we’d been normal kids, maybe we’d have just, like, fucked in my truck. After.”

And Alex has to look down, too, at that. Sort of gather himself. Because yeah... if that had happened... would they not have needed to go to the shed, later, so desperate? Would his dad never have found them?

“No point with what ifs,” Alex says, a little tense, and suddenly Michael’s right there, sitting on the bed next to him, hand on the bare skin of his back and shoulders. “I’m just glad we’re here now.”

And, god, he means it. He’s glad they’re both still even here, on Earth, alive. He’s glad they’re in the same room, breathing the same air. Glad they’re living together, as a couple, in the same, safe house. And glad they’re here, emotionally, able to talk about the hard shit without getting hopelessly mired in it. “C’mere,” Alex mutters, and Michael’s immediately there, kissing him deeply, hands pulling at his still-wet hair.

Reluctantly, Alex makes himself pull away. When Michael looks at him questioningly, he gives him a reassuring smile. “I... I think I know where things are going. Where I _hope_ they’re about to go, anyway.”

Michael looks down at his crotch, a little sheepish. “Uh, yeah.”

Alex smiles at him as he reaches for his crutches. “Same boat here, ha,” he says, nodding toward his towel. He gets up off the bed, using the crutches to maneuver himself over to the closet, where he retrieves a small box from the duffel bag. “Got this for you.”

He exits the closet and tosses the box to Michael, who uses his telekinesis to freeze it mere inches from his face. It’s right at eye level, and Alex watches as he leans forward to determine what it is.

“Is this - ?”

Alex grins. “Yeah.”

Michael gives a low whistle. “Holy shit, how much did you pay for this?”

Too much, probably. But it’s worth it with the way Michael’s staring at him. “It was on sale.”

Michael snorts. “I would have _loved_ to have seen you walk into, like, the fuckin’ Best Buy and try to pick this out with a straight face.”

“It was a Target, and I played it very cool.”

Michael finally snatches the box out of the air and begins opening it manually, revealing the brand new GoPro. “And this met your safety standards?”

Alex chuckles a little. “It did. As long as we only use the SD card, never the internet, and store the SD card somewhere safe.”

“SD card?”

“The little card that goes in the video camera with all the actual, um, footage on it.”

“Oh, okay. And how do we watch said footage?”

Alex frowns. He, he hadn’t really thought about that - he’s been so focused on how to keep everything secure that he hadn’t even really thought about actually watching it. “Shit. Um. I’m sure there’s a way to maybe hook it up directly to the tv? I’m pretty sure I have an extra HDMI cable around here somewhere, but it might need an adapter. Damn.” Alex shakes his head. “I, I should have checked.”

“Hey,” Michael says gently. “It’s okay. I’m sure we can watch playback right here on the camera screen.”

“That’s not very big.”

Michael grins. “That’s not what you’ll be saying when - “

“Stop right there,” Alex cuts him off good-naturedly. “But whatever you were about to say, you’re probably right.”

“I know I am.”

Alex is looking Michael over. He’s still fully dressed, and Alex feels like remedying that. Yet at the same time -

“I think this needs to charge up first. If we plug it in now, it might be ready to go for tomorrow, or... or even after dinner,” Alex says, hope in his voice.

He’s a little surprised that Michael doesn’t immediately jump at the offer. But he’s just looking at Alex, so intently. “What made you actually buy it?”

“Honestly?” Alex asks. “Just couldn’t get you out of my mind, the idea of you getting to see what I see when... when I’m fucking you. And then, with the phone sex, you just kept adding to it, and I dunno... it was just really fuckin’ hot.”

Michael’s eyes are dark with arousal as he looks at Alex. “Lemme show you what I got.” Alex nods quickly and watches as Michael opens the nightstand drawer on his side of the bed. Pulls out a small, slim black iPhone.

Alex’s brow furrows. “What’s that?”

“One of Isobel’s old iPhones. She gave it to me years ago, when I was in a rough patch. There was no way I could’ve afforded something new, back then, and she knew it.” He shrugs. “Don’t really use it anymore, and there’s nothing on it I’d miss.” He bites his lip a little, looks at Alex. “If you’re cool with it, I, uh, know a guy.”

Alex gives a little half smile. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Good with computers and devices and shit. It’s part of his job, actually.” Michael stretches out his arm toward Alex, presenting the old phone. “He’s the only one I’d trust to make sure this thing is up to your standards. And, uh, I might have charged it up already. Just in case. For when you got back.” Alex takes the iPhone gently. “It’s, it’s not a brand new video camera, but I thought...”

“No, this is perfect, Michael. This works, too. Like, it’s old, so there’s not a data plan on it, and as long as we wipe this and don’t connect it to the internet, we can put a new password on it and keep it somewhere only we could get to it, like the gunsafe. Or, or even use your powers to really hide it somewhere hard to access.”

There’s a small, pleased smile on Michael’s face. “There’s still the matter of watching it, but sounds like that would be the same issue with the GoPro.”

“Yeah,” Alex says thoughtfully. “If you wanted to watch it on the TV we’d need the HDMI cord and a converter.”

“Wait, if _I_ wanted?” Michael’s smile has slipped a little. “Alex, this is supposed to be something fun we do together. I... for me it’s more about just, like, making it this experience we share together - less about whatever actual footage we get. I don’t care if we just like, lounge around watching ourselves on the iPhone.” He shrugs. “It’s supposed to be fun. If it’s not, why do it?”

Alex swallows, feeling a little better now knowing that Michael wasn’t expecting some... performance. Some polished final product. Emboldened, he adds his two cents. “Or, um, I could film you, then like pass you the phone. So you could watch what I got.”

Michael’s eyes widen. A slow smile spreads across his face. “Um, yeah. That works. That really works.” His tongue darts out, just a little. “Seeing your view while you’re still giving it to me. Fuck yeah, Alex.”

Alex can feel his arousal building. “Here,” he says, handing the phone back to Michael. “If you unlock this and give me, like, five minutes to wipe this phone and disable the option to connect to WiFi, we’ll be good to go.”

“I’ll just give you the numbers,” Michael says. “One. Nine. Four. Seven.”

“Okay,” Alex murmurs, seeing the phone unlock. “We’ll change it later.” He looks down at the phone. “Anything you want to keep from this?”

“Nah,” Michael says quickly. “You can wipe it all.”

Alex is about to take the phone to his good computer in the living room when he stops. “1947. Your password. It’s the crash.”

Michael nods. “Think it was the summer Iz gave this to me that I really started trying to build the ship. Like for real. It was almost always on my mind.” He hangs his head a bit. “Well, when I wasn’t thinking about you. Cause that was also the summer you were in Kabul.” Michael touches the surface of the iPhone, tracing the one long, thin crack on the screen. “That’s when this happened. When you called me and told me you were going. And that you wouldn’t be back ahead of time.”

Alex just stares at the phone, swallows thickly. Imagines a younger, angrier Michael getting that news, slamming the phone down - throwing it, even. “I’m never deploying again,” Alex says softly. “Not, not combat, anyway.”

“Nah,” Michael says, clearly still caught up in the memory. “Air Force made sure of that, didn’t they?” he mutters, casting a glance down at Alex’s leg. Michael blows out a breath, shakes his head a bit. Looks up at Alex with a solemn expression. “When it comes to you, I’m just... just glad we can do any of this, you know?”

“I know,” Alex says softly, kissing Michael on top of the head, gathering his crutches and the old iPhone, and heading to the computer.

***

“Done!” Alex says, triumphant. He heads back to the bedroom where Michael, at Alex’s urging, is waiting on the edge of the bed in just his underwear. “I completely disabled the device’s ability to connect to WiFi, so we should be secure moving forward. Like, someone would have to get their hands on the actual device to get anything we store on here.”

“Sounds good,” Michael says. “Uh, what are you thinking with the GoPro?”

Alex chews at his lip a bit. “I mean, I guess we can give the iPhone a go, first, see if it’s, like doing the job. We can always take the GoPro back if we decide the whole video thing isn’t for us.” He shrugs a bit. “And now knowing that it’s not necessarily about, like, the movie itself for you... like the quality doesn’t matter as much, you know?”

Michael lets his feet dangle off the side of the bed, looks at Alex fondly. “It’s already five stars with you, okay? Fancy new video camera and some extra pixels aren’t gonna make or break it for me.”

Alex can’t help the smile that emerges. “Well in that case,” he says, balancing on his crutches and giving his towel a tug, “let’s get started.”

Michael’s look of... appreciation? Lust? Whatever it is, it’s very welcome. “Mmm,” he says, giving Alex a once over. “How you wanna do this?”

Alex shrugs a shoulder and makes his way to the bed, placing the iPhone between them. “Um, well,” he says, settling himself on the bed with his crutches nearby, “anything you definitely want? Or, um, don’t want?”

Michel looks thoughtful for a moment, then shakes his head. “Nope. Don’t think so. Just want you to feel comfortable with it.”

Alex slumps a little. “For real? There’s nothing you wouldn’t want filmed?”

Michael’s shaking his head. “I mean, no? Like, nothing off the top of my head.” Michael looks at him pointedly. “But I have a feeling that’s not the case for you.”

Alex purses his lips. “It... it’s hard to explain, I guess. Like, for so long I did everything in my power to _not_ get caught, so the idea of, like, purposely recording myself having sex with another guy?” He looks down. “It just kind of feels like a big thing. Bigger than it is, probably. Even though the only other person that should ever, ever see this is you.” Alex swallows. “For this first time, at least, I wouldn’t want my face in it. Or...” he falters a little. “Or my leg. It’s just too... identifiable, you know? And, again, this first time? Maybe no names. On film. Would that be okay?”

Michael’s nodding. Staring at him. “Of course,” he says, and it’s warm. Reassuring. “Whatever you want. In fact,” he says, sliding the iPhone toward Alex. “I think for the first time, you should film. That way, you can control what’s in the shot, and if you ever want to stop recording, or delete stuff, you can just do it.”

“That...” Alex pauses, smiles at Michael. Takes the iPhone in hand. “That sounds really good.”

Michael gives him a satisfied little nod. “Alright then, Spielberg. I’ll leave it to you from here.”

Alex breathes deeply. “Okay,” he murmurs, half to himself. It’s been a long time since he’s felt this kind of nervousness around sex - not since the early days of their rekindled relationship. But there’s something about this - the idea of being seen in this way, filmed, that’s got him in his head.

And part of it is exactly what he told Michael - years of fear about being caught. And honestly, how does Michael _not_ have that fear? He’s the one who bore the brunt of his father’s attack, out in the shed. He’s the one who got his hand smashed.

And yet...

The uncomfortable truth is that Alex envies Michael the ease with which he inhabits his body, his easy physicality, his unabashed enjoyment of sex. With Michael, there’s no shame, no pretense. Michael... Michael would make a damn good sex tape.

Has probably already made a damn good sex tape. With someone else.

And it’s not really the “someone else” part that bothers Alex, not in a jealousy kind of way, anyway. What matters to Alex, really matters, is that they’re together now, that Michael is with him. Wants... wants to be good for _him_ , now. What’s harder, though, is the comparison piece. Just given what he knows of Michael’s experiences, it was probably a woman. She was probably beautiful. She was probably... into it, in a way Alex couldn’t really hope to be, not at this stage of things at least. He pictures it happening easily. Organically. For fun... not this thing he’s doing with it, analyzing the hell out of it, doubting it.

Yeah, it’s been a while since he felt this way. It used to happen more often. He and Michael have always, always had this absolutely crazy physical connection, to the point where Alex would routinely override his normal caution to steal any time he could with Michael. And then when the afterglow receded... he’d run.

He ran for so many reasons, over the years. Ran to keep Michael safe. Ran to keep himself safe. Ran out of anger, out of fear, out of desperation. Discomfort. Avoidance. Hopelessness.

It’s only really been the last few years, with a safe, shared space. A door he can double, triple lock. Security cameras he’s installed himself. A dead father. Michael’s body next to his every night, warm and solid... all those things, in combination - they’ve allowed him to build a safe foundation, a home base where he really can be free to enjoy himself. Enjoy Michael. And with that safe base, it’s emboldened him to be more open, by degrees, in public, too. To dress differently. Hold hands. Kiss. Even, even the occasional quickie in the truck - not because it’s the only option anymore, but just for the hell of it.

But this goddamn sex tape, fuck. He, he likes the idea of it. For Michael. Likes, god, _really_ likes the idea of getting Michael on tape in the middle of the act, lips swollen and wrapped around Alex’s dick, taking him in deep, licking the tip, looking up at him dirtily, pleading almost. Michael loves sucking dick. Alex can tell. He, he thinks Michael gets off on the selflessness of it, likes to... fuck, to be good in that way, for him. Alex has his own mental movies of Michael, plenty of them, but the thought of a _real_ movie? He can feel his dick twitch at the thought of it.

So that part? Yeah, he’s all in... But...

And this is where it gets hard. Really hard. He loves Michael. Michael loves him. At this point, Alex truly does believe they’re good for each other. There were times, over the years, that he didn’t. Low points where he was totally without hope that they could ever be together as more than friends. Lower points where even friends seemed impossible. But now... that inexplicable cosmic connection, the overwhelming intensity of it has been tempered somewhat. Or focused, maybe? By time, age, therapy... their love is many things, but for both of them, unloved as they were as kids, the fact that it is unquestionably _there_ , secure and committed... it means a lot.

Which leads to Alex’s current hesitation. He knows Michael’s attracted to him. Knows the feeling is mutual. But also knows that Michael has memories of a seventeen-year-old Alex that he can call on. A twenty-one-year-old Alex, at his physical prime. Alex has different Michaels, too... but they’re not _so_ different from present day Michael. Not different the way Alex is different. And that’s what Alex is a little afraid of. It’s one thing to be in bed with someone, high on lust and hormones and love, totally in the moment. It’s another to watch it on film. Things might look... different, to Michael. Things might look different than they feel.

And that scares Alex.

It takes a lot of effort to seem effortless. A lot of medication, doctor’s appointments, physical therapy, counseling... Michael’s seen behind that curtain now, and he hasn’t turned tail. And Alex knows that Michael loves him, loves him for _him_ , not just the body he inhabits. He, he knows Michael likes _that_ , too, it’s just that...

That body used to be different.

“I have two questions.”

Michael’s voice startles Alex, to the point where the iPhone slips out of his hand, falls to the mattress.

“Maybe just one question, actually, depending on your first answer.”

“Okay.”

Michael’s looking serious. More serious than usual. “Do you want to do this right now?”

Alex thinks. Breathes. “Yes.”

Michael nods. “Okay. Question two, then. What can I do for you? Right now?”

Alex must give him a quizzical look.

“Come on, Alex, you’re so far in your head right now I can barely reach you. What can I do?” He swallows. “Another shower? Together? Back rub?”

Alex rolls his neck. Michael’s right. He needs out of his head. And both those things sound good, but... Michael’s still sitting on the bed, bare-chested, looking at Alex with wide, alert eyes. Lips parted, just a little... “How about a blowjob?”

Alex sees the flash of relief and interest, the widening smile. “Yeah,” Michael says, leaning back a little. “How do you wanna do this?”

“I’ll lay down on the bed,” Alex says. “Once things feel... right, I figure you can maybe ride me? That way, my hands will be free to hold the iPhone.”

Michael smirks, leans in, and presses a quick kiss to Alex’s lips. “That sounds so good, Alex,” he murmurs, nips at his earlobe. “Gonna ride you so good,” he whispers, low and dirty.

And with that, Alex can already feel himself relaxing into the moment, the easy connection they share. He laughs lightly, rests a hand on Michael’s shoulder and presses down, just a little. “First things first, though, right?” he says, grabbing an extra pillow and putting it behind him.

“You got it,” Michael drawls, pressing lazy open-mouthed kisses down Alex’s chest and torso.

While Michael’s working his way down Alex’s body, Alex makes sure he’s supported. Comfortable. Places the phone within easy reach. He’s finally settled when he feels Michael’s mouth on him.

He groans, loud enough for Michael to hear it, and it seems to spur Michael on. Sometimes Alex likes to watch Michael work, just take it in, commit it to memory, and other times he likes to lean back, close his eyes, focus on the sensations. Today’s a bit of both.

And today, well... Alex is feeling a particular way. Usually Michael’s the one with the dirty mouth, saying the filthiest, most perfect things to drive Alex even farther over the edge. Alex isn’t usually the one to start the dirty talk. It’s a holdover, he thinks, from the early fear. Keep it quiet. Concealed. To the point. Like when he was younger, in the military, before his injury… when he was with other guys, that’s almost always how it went. Michael… Michael’s the only one who’s ever gotten him to make exceptions.

Alex doesn’t talk about sex with his therapist. Not really. Like, his therapist knows he’s gay, knows a bit about his dad at this point, and a bit about Michael, but not... not stuff like this. Maybe someday, when he’s out of the military. When there’s no chance a superior officer could review his mental health records. Maybe then he’ll be honest.

But in the meantime, he’ll try his best.

“You feel so good right now,” he says to Michael, reaching down to rest his hand in his hair, feeling the way his head moves in a particular rhythm. Michael looks up at him when he feels the touch, and fucking winks. Asshole.

Michael’s so smug, like this. In his element. Knows he’s good at this, knows this is one of the best, most reliable ways to relax Alex, unwind him. Knows he looks damn good doing it. It’s hot as hell.

Alex thinks of the iPhone, right next to him. If, if it goes well today, he would film this. In the future. Film Michael with his mouth stuffed full of dick, taking it so deep until he’s pulling off, gasping, but so needy for more, always more... he imagines watching it with Michael, whispering to him in his ear about how fucking good he looks, how fucking good he is for Alex. He thinks something like that would bring Michael off in about five seconds...

“You’re so good at this, Michael.”

Michael lets out a muffled little moan, prompting Alex to thrust up off the bed, just a little.

“Love you like this. Just so fucking into it.”

Michael nods his head a little, affirmatively.

“Want, want you to do this for a few more seconds, then get yourself ready.”

Michael squeezes Alex’s hip in acknowledgment, keeps working him. When he finally pulls off, he looks so... _wrecked_ , but in a good way - hair a mess, chin wet, lips swollen and pupils blown wide.

“I might have actually gotten started on that earlier,” he says with a self-satisfied smile.

Alex’s head jerks up. “What?”

“Yeah,” Michael says, standing up, giving a lazy stretch, and hooking his fingers into the waistband of his underwear. Teasing. “Soon as you called me and said you were on your way, I got to work.” He starts inching down the tight boxer briefs. “Got a nice long shower,” he says, revealing the jut of his hipbones, “then laid down on the bed, right where you are, and really took my time.” His dick’s out now, hard and ready. “I’m nice and open for you.”

“Fuck, Michael, did you really?”

Michael kicks the underwear off, climbs onto the bed. Turns, turns his body around so that he’s on all fours above Alex, hovering over him, ass inches from Alex’s face. “Take a look,” he says, almost daring Alex. “What do you think? Did I do a good job here? Think I’m ready for you?”

Alex can feel his heart rate picking up as he brings both hands to Michael’s ass, leans in. Lets himself really look. Because Michael, Michael seems to like this. Being on display for Alex, wanting the approval.

Alex grips his ass a little firmer. “It, it looks good,” he says, voice low. “But let’s see how it feels.”

“Yeah,” Michael mutters, and Alex hears the telltale opening of their nightstand drawer, reaches for the lube Michael’s floated over to him. “Better check.”

Alex opens the lube clumsily, smears it over his fingers. Slides one finger in and nearly shudders at how easily it enters Michael’s body. “Fuck,” he mutters. “It’s perfect.”

“Come on, really be sure,” Michael says.

Alex decides to push it a little, adds two more fingers and presses in, firm.

Michael gasps, sharp.

Alex stills. “You okay?”

“Better than okay, damn. Yeah.”

Alex swallows, begins moving his fingers again. Experimentally extends his middle finger a bit more. Presses in.

“Ah, fuck,” Michael groans. “Fuck.”

And Alex does. Fuck him. With his fingers. Revels in the way Michael pushes back toward him, shameless.

“Fuck yeah, Alex, just like that. Get me good and ready. Can’t wait to ride your dick,” Michael mutters. “Gonna ride it so good...”

And, and Alex can’t wait anymore. Withdraws his fingers all at once, ignoring Michael’s whine as he gives him a quick little slap across the ass. “Then do it.”

Michael moves off of him and turns around again. They usually only use condoms if they’re concerned about a mess, and it suddenly hits Alex that when he comes, if he’s filming... it’s going to be so damn explicit. Just the thought of it has him wanting to be ready, reaching for the phone. “I, I’m gonna start filming soon, I think,” he says to Michael.

“Whatever you want,” Michael says, smiling. “Whatever you want.”

Alex unlocks the iPhone, brings up the camera app. Switches it to video. Almost, almost gasps at the view. Michael’s taken Alex in hand and is coating his dick in lube - Alex can see the shine of it even on the little iPhone screen. “Damn,” he says. And then Michael’s bringing his body lower, lower, closer to Alex. Alex exhales a little shakily, double checks the screen to ensure there are no faces, no leg, and hits record. “We’re, we’re rolling,” he says, feeling a little self-conscious about it, but wanting to let Michael know.

He needn’t have worried. “ _Yeah_ we are,” Michael says dirtily, closing the last few inches of space and settling himself just atop Alex’s dick. Alex is nearly breathless as he watches Michael slowly use Alex’s dick to stretch himself open. Alex barely knows where to look, eyes constantly darting from Michael’s face, to his ass, to his dick, to the muscles of Michael’s legs, to the view of it all on the screen of the iPhone.

And then he stops looking altogether. Rests the bottom edge of the iPhone on his own stomach to keep it steady and lets his head fall back onto the pillow. “Fuck,” he mutters, remembering at the last minute not to say Michael’s name. “God you feel so good right now. Can’t, can’t believe you got yourself ready for me.” Alex takes a breath, then looks up at Michael.

He looks... so damn good, head thrown back, muscles working to help fuck himself on Alex’s dick. Michael must feel Alex’s eyes on him, because he tips his head down, leans forward a bit. “How’s the view down there?” he asks, and Alex laughs.

“So fuckin’ good. Wait till you see.”

“Can’t wait,” Michael pants. “Bet, bet your dick looks so good inside my ass right now,” he says, punctuating his words by bringing more of his weight down, down onto Alex.

“Holy fuck,” Alex grits out as Michael stays there, grinding his body around until he gasps.

“Oh, right there, right fucking there, yeah.”

And seeing Michael like this, Alex can’t help himself. He shifts the iPhone to his left hand and uses his right hand with its still-lubed fingers to start jerking Michael off. He, he knows, from years of practice, that this is nearly a sure thing for Michael - nailing his prostate while stroking his dick. And then, later, when Michael’s good and relaxed from his orgasm, fucking him hard to Alex’s own climax.

Michael’s dick is centered on the screen, Alex’s hand wrapped around it. Michael begins slamming his own body down against Alex’s harder than before. It, it’s a little difficult to see the point where they’re joined, on the screen, at this point, but Alex doesn’t care.

“I’m, I’m coming,” Michael says, and then he is - on Alex’s low torso, his chest. Almost, almost on the fucking phone.

Alex laughs a bit at that. “Just missed,” he says, and Michael’s shaking his head a little, coming down from his orgasm.

“You... you ready for _your_ big finish?” he asks.

Alex nods. “Yeah. I’m close. Won’t take a lot.”

Michael bobs his head. “Okay,” he says, matter of fact, then angles his body back, back enough that suddenly, Alex can see _everything_ – but especially the way his own dick is stretching Michael open. He inhales sharply. “Yeah. Get ready for a show,” says Michael as, without warning, he pulls off of Alex, repositions himself to face the foot of the bed, and... and in the little screen of the phone, and right in front of Alex’s own eyes, it’s filthy. Just so, so... pornographic, the way Michael’s ass is suddenly right there, so open and ready.

And then Michael is up onto his knees again, facing away from Alex, leaning forward slightly and then… then gripping his own goddamn ass, to the point where Alex wonders if he’ll leave finger marks. As he spreads himself, Michael begins moving down, down onto Alex - Alex, who watches, wide eyed, as the head of his dick breaches Michael’s body. On the screen, he sees the way the muscles of Michael’s smooth back tighten up at the contact, at the long slide of Alex’s dick into Michael, until he bottoms out.

“Oh my god,” Alex gasps, nearly disbelieving that what he’s seeing on the screen is what’s actually happening to him right now, that Michael is putting on a sex show so dirty it makes some of the pornos Alex has seen look tame.

“Fuck yeah, give it to me. Come on, really let me have it. You feel so damn good...”

Alex does his best, thrusting his hips up into Michael, feeling the slap of skin on skin, hearing the sounds of his body entering Michael’s.

“Fuck me. Fuck my ass. I love it...”

And, and it really seems like he _does_. Love it.

“God, I love it,” Michael repeats, voice sex-rough and strained. “Love _you,”_ he says.

“Oh - “ is all Alex manages before he’s coming, hard, deep in Michael’s ass. Michael arches his back at the sensation of it, and Alex has been there, too, knows the way it feels inside, warm and sticky and sudden.

Alex feels nearly stunned for a moment as he lets his orgasm finish. “Wow,” he says quietly, feeling his breath begin to normalize again. He reaches out, rubs Michael’s flank. “Just, wow.”

Michael huffs a little laugh. “Yeah. That was something.” He clears his throat a bit. “We... we still rolling here?”

Alex looks down at the iPhone. “Oh, shit, yeah. Yeah we are. Want me to turn it off?”

“Give me a minute,” Michael says. He twists his upper body around so that Alex can see his face. His devil-may-care smile. “And zoom in.”

So Alex does. Zoom in. As Michael, like a fucking pornstar, relaxes his body enough to release Alex’s dick. It’s not, not perfectly smooth - takes a bit of effort from the both of them to disentangle, but good _god_ , Alex can barely believe Michael’s putting himself on display like this. Fuck, fuckin’ leaning forward onto all fours again, showing off his ass for the camera. So obviously and recently fucked. Still... still dripping with Alex’s come.

“And... cut,” Alex says shakily, pressing the button on the screen to stop the recording. As soon as he says it, Michael slumps forward even more, onto his elbows, and _laughs_.

“Damn, Alex,” he chuckles, squeezing Alex’s left foot. “That was a hell of a ride. What... what did you think?”

“I think...” Alex starts. “I think we should keep the GoPro, too.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex takes a turn in front of the camera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please mind the tag. This fic contains very explicit sexual content. There are mentions of the military and a very brief mention of a previous threesome (you know the one).

“How many more of these do you have to do?”  
  
Alex shrugs. “Not many.”  
  
Michael sighs. “You’ve got, what, four months left? Why are they even bothering to send you to a training? Is it really worth it if you’re barely gonna be in long enough to use whatever they want you to learn?” He leans back in the chair. “Seems like a waste of taxpayer resources to me,” he says primly, folding his arms in front of him.  
  
“Yeah, because the Air Force is known for its efficiency,” Alex says sarcastically. “I don’t want to go either, but this is probably the last overnight training I need to attend.”  
  
Michael blows out a breath. “Single room again?”  
  
Alex cocks his head. “Michael...” he warns.  
  
“What?” Michael asks, all innocence.  
  
Alex rolls his eyes, tries to keep the smile off his face. “Yes, I’ll have my own room.”  
  
“I see,” Michael says. Nods. Gets up abruptly and walks right past Alex, clapping him on the shoulder as he goes.  
  
Confused, Alex whirls around in the chair, sees Michael go to the kitchen. Use his powers to... to loosen _that_ ceiling tile.  
  
Alex swallows thickly as he sees Michael float the old iPhone down, the one that, by now, has over an hour and fifteen minutes of their... _personal_ recordings on it.  
  
“Think you should take this with you on your trip,” Michael says, pressing the phone into Alex’s hand with a smirk. “Think you’ll see a new recording on there. Think you should call me once you watch it.” He grins. “Think you should wait till you’re alone.”  
  
Alex looks at the phone. Turns it over in his hand, feeling the smooth surface of it. Runs his thumb along the crack on the front of the screen. “I...” he starts. Clears his throat. “I’m not bringing this onto, onto a military base.” He closes his eyes briefly. Pauses. “When did you make this new recording, exactly?”  
  
Michael looks at him, a little defiant. “This past weekend while you were having lunch with Greg.”  
  
Alex purses his lips, looks down at the phone like it’s a live grenade. Makes a decision. “You working today?”  
  
“Not at Sanders’, no. Figure I’ll probably just try to knock out some of my online coursework, maybe do some laundry.” He looks at Alex. Smirks. “Figure out _some_ way to occupy my time.”  
  
Alex nods, reaches for his own phone. Begins dialing.  
  
Michael frowns a little. “What are you - ?”  
  
Alex holds up a hand, effectively cutting him off. “Major Worthington? This is Captain Manes.” A pause. “Actually, I’ve been better, sir. I’m supposed to be heading out to the training at Lackland today, but I’m about ninety percent sure I have pinkeye.”  
  
Alex sneaks a peek at Michael, who looks absolutely dumbfounded.  
  
“Yes, it’s typically very contagious... a few days, probably.” Michael’s smiling now, slowly shaking his head back and forth. “Not since I was a kid, no.” Alex sets down the old iPhone, uses his now-free hand to begin unbuttoning the top button of his uniform. “Just wouldn’t want to get anyone else sick.” His shirt’s fully unbuttoned now, revealing his undershirt, and Michael hasn’t moved. “I’ll be sure to do that. Thank you Major. I’ll see you back on base in a few days.”  
  
Alex hangs up and looks at Michael, who hasn’t moved. His mouth is twitching, like he’s trying not to smile. “Did... did you just lie to your commanding officer about being sick?”  
  
Alex smirks. “That’s what it sounded like, huh?”  
  
Michael licks his lips. “Wow.”  
  
Alex quirks an eyebrow, shrugs out of his uniform shirt. “Is it that crazy? I mean, did you know me in high school?”  
  
And now Michael can’t hold back his grin. “I sure did,” he says suggestively. Alex laughs, and Michael finally starts moving toward him. “I’ve heard pinkeye’s really contagious. Think I have it too.”  
  
Alex swallows. “Pity.”  
  
“Yeah,” says Michael, drawing closer. “Guess that means we’re stuck here for a few days. Together.”  
  
“Mmm,” Alex says, cocking his head to the side. “Guess so.” He begins to lean in for a kiss, but Michael pulls back a bit.  
  
“God, that video really did the trick, huh?” He grins. “Like, just the idea of it. Wow.” He looks Alex up and down. “You must really wanna see it.”  
  
Alex purses his lips. “I do.”  
  
Michael smiles at Alex’s admission. “Good.”  
  
***  
  
Alex’s uniform, undershirt, and boxer briefs are currently in a haphazard heap outside the bedroom door. At this point, they don’t even need to discuss it - it’s pretty much one of the only boundaries Michael’s ever set, when it comes to sex.  
  
_Alex arrived home later than usual. It was early on in their renewed relationship - Michael was still parking his Airstream at the junkyard but was spending the night in town with Alex more and more often.  
  
And there he was, that night, fucking _cooking _for Alex in the thinnest of shirts that looked like it would completely disintegrate with the slightest of tugs._ _  
  
Alex walked straight to Michael, pressed into him from behind, at the counter. “Hey,” he said, breathing him in, nuzzling at the place where his jawbone met his ear.  
  
Michael let out one of those low chuckles. “Hey yourself, Captain.”  
  
“Mmm,” Alex murmured, reaching up under Michael’s t-shirt, grasping greedily at the bare skin there.  
  
Michael groaned, pushing back against Alex. “Fuck, man, you’re already hard. Chopped lettuce do it for you?”  
  
“_You _do it for me,” Alex muttered, beginning to grind up against Michael._ _  
  
Michael braced himself against the counter and arched back against Alex. Stopped. Swallowed. “Why don’t you go get cleaned up? Changed? Then we’ll have dinner,” he suggested with an easy smile.  
  
“Um, okay,” Alex said, disengaging reluctantly, half-expecting Michael to follow him straight to the bedroom, but it didn’t happen. Just like it hadn’t happened other nights, under similar circumstances.  
  
He’d let it go, all the other nights. And most of those nights, to be honest, Michael had pounced on him not long after his shower (on one memorable occasion, the pouncing had happened mid-shower). As he let the hot water beat down on him, he made up his mind - he was going to say something over dinner.  
  
He dried himself carefully, kept his prosthetic off. Put on his softest sweatpants, the grey ones, and an old Air Force tee. Grabbing his crutches, he made his way to table.  
  
“I kind of just set up a taco bar,” Michael said, gesturing to the table. “You can put yours together however you want.”  
  
“Thanks,” Alex said with a polite smile. “This looks great.”  
  
Michael gave Alex a pleased little half smile and sat down himself.  
  
Alex frowned a little. “Um, Michael?”  
  
“Yeah?” Michael responded absentmindedly, in the process of filling his tortilla with a heap of seasoned ground beef, cheese, lettuce...  
  
“I... I noticed something tonight that’s happened a few other times and I just, just wanted to check in about it,” Alex blurted, all in one go. “When I get home from work, do I, do I, like, smell or something?”  
  
Michael’s brow furrowed.  
  
“You can tell me if I do. I won’t get offended. Cause there’ve been a few times now when I, I get home from work and it seems like things are moving in a certain direction, which – things never _have _to go in that direction, you know? But it just seems, sometimes, like things_ are _going in that direction, and then you - “_ _  
  
“Then I tell you to go get cleaned up.”  
  
Alex nodded vigorously. “Yeah, exactly.” He looked at Michael. “So it _is _a thing.”_ _  
  
Michael seemed to consider his words before nodding tightly. “Yeah,” he paused. “Yeah, it’s a thing alright.”  
  
_Shit _. “Um, well, what can I do about it? I... I can’t tell a difference, so if you want I can just start going straight to the shower, maybe? When I get home from work?”_ _  
  
Michael’s mouth was a thin line. “It, it’s not that.”  
  
“Then what?”  
  
Michael shook his head, put his half-eaten taco on his plate. “It’s that,” he finally said, gesturing to Alex’s shirt.  
  
Confused, Alex looked down at himself... at his grey t-shirt with the large Air Force insignia resting atop his heart.  
  
“Can’t do it,” Michael said wearily. “I... I hate that you’re still in. That you were ever in, that you stayed in.”  
  
Alex felt a flash of anger. “This is my job.”  
  
“I know,” Michael said quickly, placating. “I know. And I know you’re good at it, but... but it shouldn’t have been your job.” He glanced up at the ceiling. “And it’s my fault.”  
  
Alex scoffed. “What?”  
  
Michael gave him a look. “Oh come on, Alex. You were a fucking rebel in high school. You were gonna be a musician, get out of this shit town. Then you got caught with me and… and you joined up. Doesn’t take a genius to see a link there.” Michael’s jaw clenched. “And then… then you stayed. And stayed again, because of everything with Project Shepherd. You stayed in to stick it to your dad, but also to help me. Help my family.” He sighed, so deeply. “You know I love you, Alex. You know I want you, so much. But... but when you’re in that uniform, I just can’t, I can’t...”  
  
His voice trailed off, and the rest went unspoken. _

For that evening, anyway.

There would be harsh words, after that. Emotions running high, for both of them. But then, one calm evening, patience. Understanding. Honesty. And compromise.

No military stuff in the bedroom.

No… romance, no sex while Alex was in uniform.

Sure, Michael might call him “Captain” or “Private,” he might tell Alex to order him around, and he might press a chaste kiss to Alex’s cheek before he leaves for work in the morning, already in his uniform, but when it comes down to real affection between the two of them, real connection, well… the uniform has no place there.

Usually, its place is the guest bedroom closet, but tonight, there were more pressing matters.

They’re lying on the bed, naked, pressed up against each other. Shoulder to shoulder, overlapping in places, both watching the screen of the iPhone intently. 

“Where…” Alex wonders. “Where did that even come from?”

“Online,” Michael responds, voice a little raspy. “Came Wednesday.”

Alex’s eyes widen. “I thought I heard a delivery.”

Michael shrugs a little. “You did. Didn’t want to blow the surprise, though, so I used my powers to hide it.”

“Oh my god,” Alex mutters, gripping Michael’s dick a bit tighter as he strokes him.

“Fuck,” Michael bites out, shaking his head at Alex. “Keep that up and the fun’s gonna be over quickly.”

Alex looks at him sharply, eyes dark. “Oh, I think I could find ways to have fun with you even if you go off early.”

He feels Michael slump against him. “God, Alex…”

_“Fuck, fuck…”_

Michael’s cries on the video are intensifying as he uses the toy on himself, a dark blue prostate massager that Alex has never seen before. In person, anyway.

“That’s right, I could get you off then make you get your toy out, use it on yourself. Would you like that?”

“God, you know I would, Alex.”

“That’s right,” he says, into it now. “Or I could stop right now. Hands off. Watch the rest of this video and then…”

He pauses. He… he’s been thinking about this for a while, since before they even made the first video. He’s feeling it tonight, though – feeling the connection with Michael, feeling in the moment. They’re both high on lust, watching Michael’s explicit one-man show play out on camera.

“Then,” he continues, “take my turn in front of the camera.”

“Shit,” Michael says, voice low. “God, Alex, really?”

Alex licks his lips. “Really.”

“Aw fuck, yes. That’s what I want. Want to get you on camera, looking so fucking good.”

And Alex… almost hates to put any boundaries, any restrictions on this. Wishes he could just tell Michael to take whatever videos he wants. And maybe someday he’ll get there. But right now…

“No faces, okay? And no names, like always. And, just cause it’s so, um, unusual – “

“No leg,” Michael says seriously, looking right at Alex. And he’s not mad or amused or exasperated or anything. Just serious. Curious. “What else?”

“I… I think that’s it.”

Michael nods thoughtfully. “We can watch it right after. That way if you want to delete it, we can. If there’s anything you don’t want, or don’t like.”

“Or, or if you don’t like it,” Alex adds hastily.

Michael gives him a wolfish grin. “Don’t think there’s a single angle of yours I wouldn’t like, Alex. Not even the hard to reach ones.”

And Alex can’t help but huff a little amused laugh at that, look at Michael fondly.

Michael’s studying him. “How do you want to do this?”

Alex steals a little glimpse at the screen, where Michael is still moaning in delight, shamelessly displaying himself to the camera. “Want you in me,” Alex says, almost breathily. He clears his throat. “It… it’s always so hot, seeing me inside you. Thought maybe you could return the favor.”

“Favor?” Michael breathes, shaking his head a bit. “God, Alex, that… that sounds so good. You wanna be on top?”

“Actually,” Alex says, grabbing the phone from Michael and rolling over onto his stomach. “Answer me honestly. Have you already watched this video?”

Michael smirked a little. “Yeah. Couple times.”

“ _Couple_ times? Oh my god.”

“What? I needed to be sure it was a good performance.”

Alex eyes the screen, where Michael’s writhing and bucking. “Two thumbs up,” he says drily.

“And one dick,” Michael says pointedly.

“Dammit,” Alex says fondly. Shakes his head a little. “If you’ve seen this already, a _couple_ times, then you won’t mind if I take a little time to watch it. While you open me up.”

Michael is already up on his knees, resting a hand on Alex’s ass. “You got it,” he says, and Alex sees the nightstand drawer open, sees the lube begin to float.

“Good,” he says, almost to himself. He… he’s a little nervous about this, but he trusts Michael, and he’s still got the iPhone in his hand, so he’s in control of what moment the filming starts. “Figure by the time you’re done here,” he says, gesturing to the screen, “I’ll be ready to go.”

“I’ll get you ready,” comes Michael’s voice, close to Alex’s ear, and it’s so reassuring that he can’t help but smile. Michael… Michael is always careful with him, more careful than Alex would be on his own.

“Fuck…” he mutters, low and guttural as he feels the press of Michael’s finger against his ass, and he makes himself relax. Looks at Michael on the screen, at the way he’s spread open. “Did you… did you prop up the phone on something or did you use your powers?”

Michael’s fingers don’t even falter. “Combination. Propped it up on a pillow but it almost fell over a few times, and I’d use my powers then.”

Alex lets his head drop down onto his arms as Michael keeps working his fingers inside him. “Handy. Fuck,” he gasps, as Michael presses a finger against his prostate, seemingly for emphasis.

“You know it,” he says.

Alex chuckles a little, then tries to really relax into it. He… he’s never allowed this with other people, and isn’t that the craziest thing? Because with Michael, fucking _Michael_ , this was straight out of the gate. Zero to sixty at age seventeen. Kissing to fucking. _Letting_ Michael fuck him right in the middle of that god damn shed. 

That scarred him… not physically, like Michael, but the internal wounds are still there. Not gaping anymore, not with Jesse’s death and years of mandatory therapy in his rearview, but they’re still tender and raw. Easily aggravated. He has plenty of physical wounds now, too, but somehow the internal ones are the most bothersome. He remembers his early military days, the way he’d try to fuck to forget, the way he’d try to manage all the variables. But no one was Michael, and nothing could ever be like this.

And he likes it. Fuck, that’s always been the kicker. This… act, that’s been so derided, so ridiculed… he loves it. Loves it with Michael. Loves the way Michael opens him up, then fills him up. Loves the way he gets to just… feel _this._ Focus on _this._

He suddenly glances at the iPhone, gaze a little sharp. Michael… Michael’s finishing, on screen. Dick in hand, coming in spurts. “Damn,” Alex murmurs, taking it in.

Michael notices his reaction. “Quite the show, huh?”

Alex laughs a little. “You’re good at that.”

Michael’s fingers never falter. “At what? Getting off? That toy made it pretty fucking easy.”

“Seemed that way,” Alex says lightly. He contemplates giving Michael the iPhone right then, but he decides instead to hold off a moment, enjoy the knife’s edge between pleasure and desperate _wanting_ that Michael’s providing him right now.

Michael must see him click off the phone, relax more heavily onto his own arms. “This good?” Michael murmurs, low, and Alex nods.

“So good. Just… get me ready, Michael. Get me good and ready.”

And Michael does. His fingers feel… fucking fantastic, inside him. It’s… it’s a little bit of a tease, but Alex likes that sometimes, the build up. He certainly likes it today. And it’s odd, but of all the sensations, one of the things that turns him on the most is also the simplest, least explicit of actions – just Michael’s left hand, resting on the curve of his ass. Not, not really _doing_ anything, but _there_ , nonetheless, occasionally kneading the tight muscle there, stroking at the skin with his thumb. It’s so… casual, but so Michael. A way to let Alex know he’s there, right with him, that he _cares_ …

Alex never had someone to care about him. Not growing up. Not in the military. Not with any other guy he’d fucked, across all those continents and all those years. Not _really_.

But here he is.

“Here,” he says, hearing the roughness of his own voice. “Take this now,” he says, holding out the iPhone behind him. 

He hears Michael’s sharp intake of breath, the deliberate exhale, then the pull of his powers on the phone, gently taking it from Alex’s hand. Alex chuckles a little. “Maybe, um, maybe no, like, impossible angles, okay? With the powers? Like if this ever got into the wrong hands – “

“It won’t,” Michael says, reassuring.

“But if it _does_ , just… just wouldn’t want someone wondering. Wondering how it was filmed, you know?”

“They’d probably just think…” Michael’s voice trails off, and Alex finds himself half-wishing he’d never said anything, because now he assumes Michael’s thinking about what he’s thinking about, the only time there’d ever been someone else with them, in bed…

“Hey,” comes Michael’s voice, close to his ear, close enough to feel the warmth of the breath. “Not a problem. I’ll just hold it.” And then his mouth is on Alex’s ear, and neck, and Alex relaxes into it. Closes his eyes and just lets himself feel. Lets Michael take care of him.

“Gonna take care of you,” Michael mumbles, and, not for the first time, Alex wonders if Michael doesn’t have at least a little bit of Isobel’s mind mojo. Or do other lovers feel this way, too? This synchronization… there are times Alex doubts it, thinks it _must_ be Michael’s alienness. Because didn’t he try with other people? Tried desperately, at times, to chase the particular feeling, the intensity that only ever happens with Michael?

“You always do,” Alex says, and he hears Michael’s pleased noise at that.

“Gonna turn on the camera now, okay?”

Alex nods for him. “Okay.”

He feels Michael’s hand finally leave his low back, though the fingers of his other hand are still working inside him. And he knows the moment Michael must get the screen up and running and focused on Alex because he’s immediately letting out a half-gasp, a half-laugh, and a low, shaky, “Damn.”

Alex laughs a bit too, at that.

“This is something else, seeing you on camera like this.” Alex feels Michael withdraw his fingers, just for a moment, probably just enough for a closer view, then slide them in again. “Fuck.” He tries not to feel embarrassed, self-conscious, about _any_ of this – being on camera in such an explicit way, so clearly enjoying this. He reminds himself that there are no faces, no names – it calms him somewhat, lets him relax into it. 

Michael must feel it. “There you go,” he says, low and reassuring. “You feel good. You feel _ready_.” Alex feels the spread of his fingers, groans. “You _look_ ready. Look at that…” Michael murmurs, half to himself. “So damn hot.”

“I’m ready,” Alex says, pretty loud, wanting Michael to hear. Cause he knows Michael won’t move any further till he knows Alex on board. And fuck is he ever… “So ready for you,” he says, half to drive Michael mad.

It works. Michael’s fingers are gone, and Alex is already groaning at their absence. “Gonna… gonna put this down so I can get myself ready real quick,” Michael’s saying, and Alex hears him open the lube, hears the slick sounds of Michael’s hand on himself. Michael chuckles a little. “Okay. Well I’m definitely ready,” he says, and Alex imagines he’s got the camera trained on his own dick right now. “And so are you, right?”

“Right,” Alex says, overly quick, so ready to feel Michael.

And then there’s that touch again, brief and comforting, at Alex’s hip, gone quickly, but delivering a message nonetheless. _I’m here. I’ve got you._

_I love you._

And then he feels Michael, pressing in.

“Mmm, fuck,” he groans.

Michael keeps pushing, slowly, almost too slowly. Taking his time, letting Alex feel the slow slide of him. 

Surprisingly, Michael doesn’t say much. At one point, Alex turns his head, steals a glance at him. He looks… entranced, nearly, and so serious, giving his full attention to where they’re joined, looking between their bodies to the screen and back again.

“Wow,” he says finally. “You, you look so good right now. It’s crazy.”

“Yeah,” Alex says, feeling Michael pick up his pace a bit. “Yeah, I remember the first time we did this. Seeing you on screen, me inside you? It was just… something else.”

“Something else alright,” Michael says, snapping his hips just a little, pulling a low, guttural sound from Alex. “You good?”

Alex nods, lost to the feel of everything. “Yeah. So good. Just, just go for it, alright?”

Michael grips his hip, then, and starts moving, _really_ moving. Alex works at pushing his body back against him, hears the sound of them together. 

“Fuck… fuck me, really fuck me, okay?” He feels the flex of Michael’s fingers around his hip, tightening at times, loosening at others, but always there.

“I’m, I’m turning off the camera, okay?” Michael says suddenly.

Alex raises his head up, turns around to look at Michael. “Everything okay?”

“Fuck, yes, Alex,” Michael says quickly, bending over his body to press a kiss to his lips, one Alex chases eagerly. “You look so, so good, and I want you to see. Want you to watch while I fuck you.”

Alex’s eyes widen. “What?”

“Yeah,” Michael says, stilling for a moment as he fumbles for the phone, brings up the video. “Yeah. Wanna watch you watching us together. I’m so fucking close – I know that’ll do it. Then you can watch while I finish you off, okay?”

Alex swallows. He _is_ curious to see the video. He’ll never forget the first time he saw Michael on that screen… “Okay,” he says, pleased at the way Michael nods at him, smiles. 

“Here,” Michael says, pressing the phone into his palm. “Enjoy,” he adds with a wink. “You seriously okay for me to like, let loose here?”

“I’d fucking _love_ that right now, Michael.”

And with that, Michael uses both hands to pull him back against him, flush to his pelvis. Alex shudders. “You got it, then.”

Alex fumbles with the phone, manages to get it unlocked and get the video up. He’s about to press play just as Michael thrusts into him, and the phone drops.

“Sorry,” Michael says, a little sheepish, and it makes Alex laugh.

“Don’t be,” Alex says. “Just, just keep going.” He retrieves the phone, gets the video up and running, and… and he didn’t think it was even possible but it somehow makes this whole situation even hotter than it was. “Oh my god,” he mutters as he watches Michael’s fingers open him up, press into his body, all while Michael fucks him.

“Crazy, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Look how fucking good you look. Look how open you are for me.”

He should have known this was coming, Michael’s dirty mouth. “Michael…”

“Yeah. Like that we can use names again. Like to hear you using mine.”

“Fuck, Michael, you feel so good.”

“God, you too, Alex.”

Alex watches on the iPhone’s little screen as Michael strokes his dick, covering it with the lube and lining it up with Alex’s ass. He can’t help his sharp little inhale as he watches Michael begin to press in.

“Oh yeah, look at that. Look at you. That’s you, right there, Alex. You and me.” He hears Michael swallow thickly. “Fuck I’m close. That’s what it looks like right now, you know. That’s how it looks when I fuck you. Looks so goddamn good. I… fuck…”

Alex feels Michael pull out, then, feels him coming on his ass and low back. “Turn over,” Michael says suddenly.

Alex looks away from the iPhone, turns his head to meet Michael’s eyes… Michael, who looks half-wrecked already, flushed and breathing heavy. “I’ve got come all over my – “

“Don’t care,” Michael interrupts. “Wanna suck you off so bad, okay?” Alex must still look unsure, because Michael looks skywards. “I’ll wash the fucking sheets, okay, just _turn over_.”

Alex laughs a little, obliges. “You promise? About the sheets?”

“Fuck yes.” Michael situates himself so he’s on his hands and knees between Alex’s spread legs – perfect position for a blowjob. “I do have a request, though.”

“What’s that?”

“Want you to tell me what’s happening. On that video. Tell me everything. Fucking narrate, okay?”

Alex pulls a pillow behind his head, nods. “Okay. You’re…. you’re inside me now. Like, all the way… fuck,” he says, feeling Michael’s tongue on him, wet and warm. “You, you’re pulling out now, just a little. Things, things are still pretty…” He’s got his whole mouth around him now, and it’s getting hard to think straight, hard to focus. “God, pretty, um, slow but now… oh fuck. Now you’re like, picking up the pace. God, zooming the fuck in and…” He closes his eyes, looks skyward. “Fuck, Michael, I am _not_ going to last if you keep - “ And then he feels Michael’s finger begin to press into him again, and that does it. He’s coming. “Fuck, Michael that’s it, oh my god.” Phone forgotten, he watches as Michael’s eyes screw shut, watches as Michael keeps his mouth on him throughout his release before finally pulling off, sitting up, locking eyes, and slowly swallowing.

Alex can do nothing but shake his head and smile. “Come here,” he says throatily, and of course Michael obeys immediately, pressing his body down onto Alex’s for a slow and filthy kiss. 

_“Something else, alright,”_ comes the sudden audio from the iPhone.

Michael pulls back from Alex. “Shit, where _is_ the phone?”

“ _You good?_ ”

Alex looks around. “I _just_ had it. Maybe I dropped it?”

“ _So good. Just, just go for it, alright?”_

Michael’s lifting up pillows, the comforter, then pauses. “You hear that?”

Alex looks at him quizzically, listens. And hears the audio of their moans, the sound of skin meeting skin, his own desperate voice…

_“Fuck… fuck me, really fuck me, okay?”_

He looks at Michael, who’s already looking at him, eyes dark.

“ _I’m, I’m turning off the camera, okay?_ ”

It’s silent but for their breathing.

“How long did you tell Worthington you’d be out?”

“Few days.”

Michael looks at him. Nods. Looks at the bed. “Well. I know I promised to wash the sheets...”

“You definitely did.”

“But I wouldn’t want to waste water.”

“No. Wouldn’t want to do that,” Alex says, biting back a smile.

“Think there’s any chance we might be… doing anything else on these sheets before I throw them in the wash again?”

“Anything else? Other than sleep?" Alex says playfully. "Oh, I think there’s a good chance,” he says. “And with a few days ahead of us, I think there’s also a good chance we finally hook the phone up to the TV and watch some of these videos on a big screen and – “

“And fuck on the couch,” Michael provides.

Alex laughs. “And fuck on the couch,” he repeats. “God that sounds good.”

Michael smiles at him fondly. “Takeout too. Let’s get takeout and just… just enjoy each other, okay?” He bites his lip a little. “And in a few months, when you finally get out, we can do it again, okay? Like, Sanders already knows, he already said I can have a week then. Longer, probably, if I want.”

Alex stills. “You’ve already made plans for that? Like, told Sanders and everything?”

Michael shrugs. “Been waiting for you to get out since the day you joined, Alex. Glad I don’t have to wait much more.”

“You don’t,” Alex says quietly. “You don’t,” he repeats, finding Michael’s hand with his and squeezing. “I promise.”

“So much has changed, since you joined,” Michael breathes. 

“It has,” Alex agrees. “I… I can hold your hand in public without being afraid of, of the military finding out. Or my father.”

“You know the truth about me. About my family.”

“We… we know how we feel. About each other.”

Michael leans in, kisses him. They’re quiet a moment, before Michael pulls back, smirking. “And of course,” he says, “iPhones are now capable of holding _hours_ of our homemade porn.” He holds up his hand triumphantly, iPhone proudly on display. “It was tangled in the sheets.”

“Oh my god,” Alex says, rolling his eyes. “You’re…” And he’s suddenly not sure what to say. Because Michael is what, exactly, to him?

_You’re something else._

_You’re too much._

_You’re an asshole._

_You’re so good._

_You’re a genius._

_You’re incredible._

_You’re amazing._

_You’re mine._

“You’re right,” he says, clearing his throat. And he smiles at Michael, taking him in, in all his messy glory. “But I think for this next round, I’d like a live show.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. With that new toy of yours. The one you had fun with in the video.”

He sees Michael twitch with interest. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Now?”

Alex shrugs a little. “If you want. But if not, that’s okay, too. We have time.”

“A few days,” Michael says with a little grin.

Alex slips closer to Michael. Touches the side of his face with his fingers, gently guiding him where he wants, until their eyes meet. 

“Michael,” he says, quiet and serious. “We have so much longer than that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Come say hi on tumblr (aewriting).


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